I’m a couple of days late on this, but with the time difference, it mostly works out.
Feb 3rd is a holiday in Japan, not the Get-out-of-work kind, but still fun. It’s called Setsubun (節分). The name translates roughly to “cutting the season” and refers to the official boundary between winter and spring. (He said as he looked out the window at the snow and died a little on the inside)
Setsubun is celebrated with a purification ritual meant to cast out evil spirits and usher in good luck for the new year. The evil spirits are symbolized by the Oni, a mythological baddie whose name translates as “demon” but “ogre” is a better analogy. How do you cast out an Oni? Why, by throwing soy beans at it of course.
People throw roasted soybeans at someone wearing an Oni mask and shout “Oni wa soto! Fuku wa uchi!” (鬼は外! 福は内) Which means “Oni outside, luck inside.” Traditionally, this was a shinto ritual that held deep significance. However, today it has devolved into a children’s ritual where they get to throw things at their parents and teachers. The children are also typically given candy at the end. Why? I have no idea, but who needs an excuse to give kids candy? Many shrines still have Setstubun events, but they’re mostly publicity stunts.
I had the opportunity to be an Oni at one of the elementary schools I teach at. I kind of fit the bill physically since I’m tall, large, and can look pretty darn scary when I try. I and a handful of other teachers stood outside the school gym ready to walk in one at a time as the children prepared to throw beans at us. I was told we were supposed to just walk slowly and let the children hit us. My instant reaction to that was “Oh heck no!”
When my turn came I stood at the door for a second and let out what I hope was a blood curdling roar. I dashed into the gym growling in a half werewolf/half Gollum impression. The kids were laughing their heads off as they started to throw the beans. I ducked, dodged, and spun my way around them (and at my size, that isn’t easy). Eventually, I started letting them hit me. Being in possession of an amateur drama background (Read: Being a big ham) I naturally acted as if the beans were made of acid. I then transitioned into the corniest death scene you can imagine before removing the mask and accepting the praise of the students and teachers.
Hit Count (not the number of people I have been paid to kill)
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The Great Split
Greetings puny humans,
I’ve realized that I long ago abandoned what this blog was supposed to be about and started commentating mostly on politics. Since I tend to write about whatever I feel like at the time, sticking to any one topic is rather difficult.
Last night I was rereading the great book of laws that govern the entire internet, The Tome of Gore and noticed something in Vol.3, Section 6, Subsection 31 regarding blogs:
A User may have as many blogs as he/she/it can comfortably provide for.
Having realized this, I have decided to split off and start a total three blogs. The current plan is to post something in one of them at least once a week.
Wandering Gaijin will remain as a Japan specific blog. This will include commentaries on what are known on the Internet as WJTs (Pronounced: widgets) or Weird Japanese Things. I will also post reflections of experiences and other such information. You know, the stuff I should have been posting all along.
The first of the new blogs will be called RNR or Random Nerd Reviews. I am a proud nerd (or Intello-American if you want to be politically correct) and this blog will be me talking about all things nerdy. As the name implies, reviews will be the main bread and butter of this blog. This one is already up and running at randomnerdreviews.blogspot.com, go there.
The second and last of the new blogs will be political in nature and it will have a very catchy name as soon as I think of one. It will mainly be my political rants at the stupidity that envelops modern politics and political punditry.
Some cross over between blogs will happen. Articles of Japanese nerdom on RNR, or the political blog with the very catchy name featuring transpacific stories.
Also, I may soon decide to abandon all attempts at anonymity and start posting video blog entries because I’ve always wanted my own TV show. The fact that my new computer has a built in web cam also has something to do with this.
And so dear friends, we begin a new era of Net based commentary in this: The 3rd Age of the Hack.
I’ve realized that I long ago abandoned what this blog was supposed to be about and started commentating mostly on politics. Since I tend to write about whatever I feel like at the time, sticking to any one topic is rather difficult.
Last night I was rereading the great book of laws that govern the entire internet, The Tome of Gore and noticed something in Vol.3, Section 6, Subsection 31 regarding blogs:
A User may have as many blogs as he/she/it can comfortably provide for.
Having realized this, I have decided to split off and start a total three blogs. The current plan is to post something in one of them at least once a week.
Wandering Gaijin will remain as a Japan specific blog. This will include commentaries on what are known on the Internet as WJTs (Pronounced: widgets) or Weird Japanese Things. I will also post reflections of experiences and other such information. You know, the stuff I should have been posting all along.
The first of the new blogs will be called RNR or Random Nerd Reviews. I am a proud nerd (or Intello-American if you want to be politically correct) and this blog will be me talking about all things nerdy. As the name implies, reviews will be the main bread and butter of this blog. This one is already up and running at randomnerdreviews.blogspot.com, go there.
The second and last of the new blogs will be political in nature and it will have a very catchy name as soon as I think of one. It will mainly be my political rants at the stupidity that envelops modern politics and political punditry.
Some cross over between blogs will happen. Articles of Japanese nerdom on RNR, or the political blog with the very catchy name featuring transpacific stories.
Also, I may soon decide to abandon all attempts at anonymity and start posting video blog entries because I’ve always wanted my own TV show. The fact that my new computer has a built in web cam also has something to do with this.
And so dear friends, we begin a new era of Net based commentary in this: The 3rd Age of the Hack.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
I'm a proud sinner!
This is why I don’t go to church any more:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081113/ap_on_re_us/obama_catholics
The AP is reporting on this Catholic priest has stated that Catholics who voted for President-Elect Obama should not receive communion until they pay an appropriate penance for their sin.
I’m not making this up! In the man’s own words:
The Rev. Jay Scott Newman said in a letter distributed Sunday to parishioners at St. Mary's Catholic Church in Greenville [South Carolina] that they are putting their souls at risk if they take Holy Communion before doing penance for their vote.
"Our nation has chosen for its chief executive the most radical pro-abortion politician ever to serve in the United States Senate or to run for president," Newman wrote, referring to Obama by his full name, including his middle name of Hussein.
"Voting for a pro-abortion politician when a plausible pro-life alternative exists constitutes material cooperation with intrinsic evil, and those Catholics who do so place themselves outside of the full communion of Christ's Church and under the judgment of divine law. Persons in this condition should not receive Holy Communion until and unless they are reconciled to God in the Sacrament of Penance, lest they eat and drink their own condemnation."
Guys like this make me sick! The right of the free and secret ballot is the very cornerstone of the United States of America. People complain about judges who “legislate from the bench” but I find “legislating from the pulpit” to be much worse. There is never any reason to feel shame about the way you vote. God gave man free will and I don’t believe that He would then create a church with the intention of removing that free will. America holds sacred the separation of church and state. Priests like Father Newman are violating the highest law in the land, the highest law we all agree on at any rate.
As for the abortion issue: GOD NEVER SAID A DAMN THING ABOUT IT! That’s even assuming you take the Bible word-for-word literally, which I don’t. I challenge anyone to find me a Bible quote (please cite chapter and verse in the comment section of this post) that mentions abortion one way or the other.
On the other hand, I can understand those who believe their place in heaven is assured wanting McCain to win the election. A McCain administration would doubtlessly directly bring about the End of Days within four years and they get to go to heaven early. Fine, that’s cool for you. But the rest of us LIKE this world and want to SAVE it. Those of you who don't, just go drink some Kool-Aid and leave the rest of us in peace.
The late Pope John Paul II stated that the abortion issue is a matter of personal faith as there is no scripture to support either side of the argument. In other words, the right to live vs. right to choose debate is NONE OF THE CHURCHES BUSINESS!! Memo to Father Newman: The Pope out ranks you . . . a lot. I’d have thought they would mention that at the seminary at some point.
So, short version, I’m not quite at the point of joining the Bill Mayer brand of atheism, but this just goes to prove that the difference between God and Religion can be as wide as the Grand Canyon.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081113/ap_on_re_us/obama_catholics
The AP is reporting on this Catholic priest has stated that Catholics who voted for President-Elect Obama should not receive communion until they pay an appropriate penance for their sin.
I’m not making this up! In the man’s own words:
The Rev. Jay Scott Newman said in a letter distributed Sunday to parishioners at St. Mary's Catholic Church in Greenville [South Carolina] that they are putting their souls at risk if they take Holy Communion before doing penance for their vote.
"Our nation has chosen for its chief executive the most radical pro-abortion politician ever to serve in the United States Senate or to run for president," Newman wrote, referring to Obama by his full name, including his middle name of Hussein.
"Voting for a pro-abortion politician when a plausible pro-life alternative exists constitutes material cooperation with intrinsic evil, and those Catholics who do so place themselves outside of the full communion of Christ's Church and under the judgment of divine law. Persons in this condition should not receive Holy Communion until and unless they are reconciled to God in the Sacrament of Penance, lest they eat and drink their own condemnation."
Guys like this make me sick! The right of the free and secret ballot is the very cornerstone of the United States of America. People complain about judges who “legislate from the bench” but I find “legislating from the pulpit” to be much worse. There is never any reason to feel shame about the way you vote. God gave man free will and I don’t believe that He would then create a church with the intention of removing that free will. America holds sacred the separation of church and state. Priests like Father Newman are violating the highest law in the land, the highest law we all agree on at any rate.
As for the abortion issue: GOD NEVER SAID A DAMN THING ABOUT IT! That’s even assuming you take the Bible word-for-word literally, which I don’t. I challenge anyone to find me a Bible quote (please cite chapter and verse in the comment section of this post) that mentions abortion one way or the other.
On the other hand, I can understand those who believe their place in heaven is assured wanting McCain to win the election. A McCain administration would doubtlessly directly bring about the End of Days within four years and they get to go to heaven early. Fine, that’s cool for you. But the rest of us LIKE this world and want to SAVE it. Those of you who don't, just go drink some Kool-Aid and leave the rest of us in peace.
The late Pope John Paul II stated that the abortion issue is a matter of personal faith as there is no scripture to support either side of the argument. In other words, the right to live vs. right to choose debate is NONE OF THE CHURCHES BUSINESS!! Memo to Father Newman: The Pope out ranks you . . . a lot. I’d have thought they would mention that at the seminary at some point.
So, short version, I’m not quite at the point of joining the Bill Mayer brand of atheism, but this just goes to prove that the difference between God and Religion can be as wide as the Grand Canyon.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
A message to McCain
Yes, yes, yes. I know I haven’t updated this thing in weeks, but let’s get past that and talk about what everyone else is talking about: Joe the Plumber.
The following is a little message to the McCain campaign care of the Merriam-Webster dictionary:
Main Entry: vet
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): vet•ted; vet•ting
Date [of entry to the dictionary]: 1891
1 a: to provide veterinary care for (an animal) or medical care for (a person) b: to subject (a person or animal) to a physical examination or checkup
2 a: to subject to usually expert appraisal or correction b: to evaluate for possible approval or acceptance
— vet•ter noun
Please look at definition 2b. Thank you.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081017/ap_on_re_us/joe_the_plumber
According to this article by John Seewer of the associated press, not only is Joe not a licensed plumber, he isn’t even a Joe. His name is Samuel J. Wurzelbacher and “Joe” appears to be a nickname, a horribly dull nickname. Just to make things funnier, this archetype of the hard working American success story . . . owes nearly $1200 in back taxes and the state has filed a claim to repossess his house.
How the hell did the McCain campaign not know any of this before they made him a national TV star? I feel sorry for Mr. Wurzelbacher. His life is now going to be turned completely upside down because John McCain is an idiot.
On a separate matter, a friend of mine who happens to be a fellow English major finally watched the VP debate on YouTube. The 90 minute debate took us about 2 hours to watch because my friend keep rewinding to see if Sarah Palin made any sense the second time around. She didn’t. He also rewound to remind himself of the actual question and see if anyone actually answered it. They usually didn’t. We also had a dictionary open and were pausing to check is what Sarah Palin was using her words correctly. Indecently, “maverick” is not a verb. We assume the definition of maverick that the Governor was using is:
2. a lone dissenter, as an intellectual, an artist, or a politician, who takes an independent stand apart from his or her associates.
Although we can’t rule out
1. Southwestern U.S. an unbranded calf, cow, or steer, esp. an unbranded calf that is separated from its mother.
Even assuming the former is the intended definition, the idea of a “Team of mavericks” is nonsensical because you can't have a team of lone dissenters.
At one point in the debate, Gov. Palin referred to Sen. Biden as Sen. Obiden, accidently combining the names of both members of the Democratic ticket. Since all's fair in love and Freudian slips, the Republican VP candidate will now and forever be known as “Sarah McPalin!”
Since that name sounds incredibly Scottish (and I never pass up a chance to steal a bit from Blackadder) I present the following conversation to be read in a heavy stereotypical Scottish accent:
Me: Ach! Sarah McPalin! Yer tha spittin image ah yerself! How stands that mighty army, tha Clan McPalin?
Sarah McPalin: Thar both well.
Me: Aye, good. Ay always thought Rory and Angus war such fine boys.
Sarah McPalin: Angus isa girl.
Me: Oh . . . eh . . . dang.
Thank you thank you, I’m here till Monday.
In related news, stay tuned for the recipe to my newest invention, the McPalin sandwich. (Why yes, I am going to milk this joke for all it's worth. Thanks for asking.)
The following is a little message to the McCain campaign care of the Merriam-Webster dictionary:
Main Entry: vet
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): vet•ted; vet•ting
Date [of entry to the dictionary]: 1891
1 a: to provide veterinary care for (an animal) or medical care for (a person) b: to subject (a person or animal) to a physical examination or checkup
2 a: to subject to usually expert appraisal or correction
— vet•ter noun
Please look at definition 2b. Thank you.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081017/ap_on_re_us/joe_the_plumber
According to this article by John Seewer of the associated press, not only is Joe not a licensed plumber, he isn’t even a Joe. His name is Samuel J. Wurzelbacher and “Joe” appears to be a nickname, a horribly dull nickname. Just to make things funnier, this archetype of the hard working American success story . . . owes nearly $1200 in back taxes and the state has filed a claim to repossess his house.
How the hell did the McCain campaign not know any of this before they made him a national TV star? I feel sorry for Mr. Wurzelbacher. His life is now going to be turned completely upside down because John McCain is an idiot.
On a separate matter, a friend of mine who happens to be a fellow English major finally watched the VP debate on YouTube. The 90 minute debate took us about 2 hours to watch because my friend keep rewinding to see if Sarah Palin made any sense the second time around. She didn’t. He also rewound to remind himself of the actual question and see if anyone actually answered it. They usually didn’t. We also had a dictionary open and were pausing to check is what Sarah Palin was using her words correctly. Indecently, “maverick” is not a verb. We assume the definition of maverick that the Governor was using is:
2. a lone dissenter, as an intellectual, an artist, or a politician, who takes an independent stand apart from his or her associates.
Although we can’t rule out
1. Southwestern U.S. an unbranded calf, cow, or steer, esp. an unbranded calf that is separated from its mother.
Even assuming the former is the intended definition, the idea of a “Team of mavericks” is nonsensical because you can't have a team of lone dissenters.
At one point in the debate, Gov. Palin referred to Sen. Biden as Sen. Obiden, accidently combining the names of both members of the Democratic ticket. Since all's fair in love and Freudian slips, the Republican VP candidate will now and forever be known as “Sarah McPalin!”
Since that name sounds incredibly Scottish (and I never pass up a chance to steal a bit from Blackadder) I present the following conversation to be read in a heavy stereotypical Scottish accent:
Me: Ach! Sarah McPalin! Yer tha spittin image ah yerself! How stands that mighty army, tha Clan McPalin?
Sarah McPalin: Thar both well.
Me: Aye, good. Ay always thought Rory and Angus war such fine boys.
Sarah McPalin: Angus isa girl.
Me: Oh . . . eh . . . dang.
Thank you thank you, I’m here till Monday.
In related news, stay tuned for the recipe to my newest invention, the McPalin sandwich. (Why yes, I am going to milk this joke for all it's worth. Thanks for asking.)
Monday, September 8, 2008
And the gaijin cause takes 2 steps back.
This is the really frustrating thing. Whenever it seems as if gaijin are making headway toward being equal citizens in Japan, someone does something stupid and ruins it for the rest of us. This time, our story takes place in the hallowed halls of Sumo. For the last several years, there has been a massive influx of gaijin sumo wrestlers rising to prominence in the most Japanese of sports. For example, both of the reigning Yokozuna (grand champions) Asashoryu and Hakuho are from Mongolia. And it is not uncommon to see the odd Caucasian in the middle ranks at a major tournament. A few days ago, this all came to a screeching halt.
Two of the most prominent gaijin wrestlers, a pair of brothers from Russia, tested positive for marijuana in the sports first ever round of drug tests on Monday. The reason for these tests was the drug related arrest of another gaijin wrestler a few months ago. He was caught with 2.5oz of pot in his wallet. He will inevitably go to jail and/or be deported and his sumo career is over.
It is worth noting that possession of marijuana is a VERY serious offense in Japan. Possession of a single ounce is worth no less than 3 years in jail (no more than 5) hard labor and a $10,000 fine. It is unknown at this time if criminal charges will be pressed against the brothers who only tested positive for the drug. Possession, distribution, trafficking and being caught while using MJ are crimes. Having used it sometime in the past is not.
However, sumo wrestlers are held to a high moral standard due to the religious origins of their sport. As such, both the brothers have received lifetime bans from the Japan Sumo Association (JSA) and the JSA chairman has resigned in disgrace. This scandal has been front page news across the nation trumping the resignation of Prime Minister Fukuda. And you thought Americans took their games seriously.
At the risk of sounding like John McCain, I say blame the Russians.
Two of the most prominent gaijin wrestlers, a pair of brothers from Russia, tested positive for marijuana in the sports first ever round of drug tests on Monday. The reason for these tests was the drug related arrest of another gaijin wrestler a few months ago. He was caught with 2.5oz of pot in his wallet. He will inevitably go to jail and/or be deported and his sumo career is over.
It is worth noting that possession of marijuana is a VERY serious offense in Japan. Possession of a single ounce is worth no less than 3 years in jail (no more than 5) hard labor and a $10,000 fine. It is unknown at this time if criminal charges will be pressed against the brothers who only tested positive for the drug. Possession, distribution, trafficking and being caught while using MJ are crimes. Having used it sometime in the past is not.
However, sumo wrestlers are held to a high moral standard due to the religious origins of their sport. As such, both the brothers have received lifetime bans from the Japan Sumo Association (JSA) and the JSA chairman has resigned in disgrace. This scandal has been front page news across the nation trumping the resignation of Prime Minister Fukuda. And you thought Americans took their games seriously.
At the risk of sounding like John McCain, I say blame the Russians.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Palin is a horrible person
OK, this is the ranting I promised regarding the pros and cons of Sarah Palin as the VP nominee of the GOP. I’ll start with the pros and go from there because the higher quality and more impassioned writing comes with the cons and I want to make you wait for that. Before I begin, I want everyone to remember that this woman is running to be one heartbeat away from the Presidency and the President in question would be a 72 year old man with cancer.
When you consider that the US life expectancy for a man is 75.15 years according to the 2007 world fact book. In other words, statistically speaking and when you consider the stress of the job, John McCain will be dead before his 3rd State of the Union Address. On that less than happy note, let’s do this:
PROS:
1. Palin is literally a continent away from the Bush Administration. The GOP know that President Bush is a complete failure and that McCain is far too buddy-buddy with him. But no one in Washington (including John McCain) knows who she is. She can come out of the blue and be a clean slate.
2. The GOP can control the story, kinda. The idea seems to be that the 24 hour news cycle of the 1990s hasn’t reached Alaska yet so Palin doesn’t have any press record. Therefore the GOP can mold her into anything they choose. This is turning out to be total rubbish but what are you going to do?
3. Energize the base. This woman is such a hardcore conservative that she borders on fascist. Prolife, pro death penalty (I’ve never understood how those aren’t mutually exclusive), pro gun、pro war, anti immigration, pro church, anti everything Jesus actually said. In other words, the GOP’s wet dream.
4. Power to the PUMA! I don’t know if anyone has noticed, but Sarah Palin has breasts! Now, since all of Hilary Clinton’s supporters are women, Sarah Palin will use her connections in the International Sisterhood of the Va**** to get all of the PUMAs to vote for John McCain despite the fact that she everything she stands for are exactly the opposite of everything that Clinton stands for.
OK, yeah, most of those are stupid and backhanded compliments. But I can’t come up with much that is legitimately good with this choice. As for the cons, there are so many that a true list would constitute a book and there is no way I could scare up a publisher or distribution deal in time so I’ll only list the two most egregious.
CONS:
1. Child abuse. The way this woman uses her family as political fodder is disgusting. First, she uses her son Track (Barack is a weird/evil/foreign name but Track is OK?) as a symbol of how much she “Supports the Troops”©. Then she shows her many children as proof that she shares stereotypical small town values (will SOMEONE explain what the hell “small town values” are?). And worst of all, she shows off pregnant 17 year old daughter and her infant son as proof that she lives her prolife stance.
Let me get this last one straight. Her daughter made a mistake. The mistake in question being that she forgot that there are about 90 different kinds of birth control. Now she has to have the baby with the world watching. Her life is changed irrevocably because her mother is running for vice president. I’m not saying that she should have an abortion, that’s her CHOICE. But of all the reasons to have a child “It helps Mom’s poll numbers” is damn close to the bottom.
It gets worse with the baby. Young Trig Palin has Down Syndrome. His existence is being used by the Fixed Noise as prove that Gov. Palin is truly pro life. In other words, the message is: She didn’t get an abortion even though she knew the baby would come out wrong what a wonderful woman!
2. Book burning. This last one has to speak for itself. During her political career Sarah Palin looked into having a large number of books banned from public and school libraries. Fortunately, the local librarians realized that you simply can’t do that in America and swore to fight any such attempt. Palin then had the librarian fired at the earliest opportunity. This list has been floating around the internet. Please note that this list may not be complete or accurate.
This is the list of books Palin tried to have banned.
A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
Blubber by Judy Blume
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Canterbury Tales by Chaucer
Carrie by Stephen King
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
Christine by Stephen King
Confessions by Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Cujo by Stephen King
Curses, Hexes, and Spells by Daniel Cohen
Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite
Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Peck
Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller
Decameron by Boccaccio
East of Eden by John Steinbeck
Fallen Angels by Walter Myers
Fanny Hill (Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure) by John Cleland
Flowers For Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Forever by Judy Blume
Grendel by John Champlin Gardner
Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Prizoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling
Have to Go by Robert Munsch
Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
Impressions edited by Jack Booth
In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
It’s Okay if You Don’t Love Me by Norma Klein
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D.H. Lawrence
Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
Little Red Riding Hood by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Love is One of the Choices by Norma Klein
Lysistrata by Aristophanes
More Scary Stories in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz
My Brother Sam Is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
My House by Nikki Giovanni
My Friend Flicka by Mary O’Hara
Night Chills by Dean Koontz
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
One Day in The Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn
One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Ordinary People by Judith Guest
Our Bodies, Ourselves by Boston Women’s Health Collective
Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy
Revolting Rhymes by Roald Dahl
Scary Stories 3: More Tales to Chill Your Bones by Alvin Schwartz
Scary Stories in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz
Separate Peace by John Knowles
Silas Marner by George Eliot
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
The Bastard by John Jakes
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
The Devil’s Alternative by Frederick Forsyth
The Figure in the Shadows by John Bellairs
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Snyder
The Learning Tree by Gordon Parks
The Living Bible by William C. Bower
The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare
The New Teenage Body Book by Kathy McCoy and Charles Wibbelsman
The Pigman by Paul Zindel
The Seduction of Peter S. by Lawrence Sanders
The Shining by Stephen King
The Witches by Roald Dahl
The Witches of Worm by Zilpha Snyder
Then Again, Maybe I Won’t by Judy Blume
To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare
Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary by the Merriam-Webster Editorial Staff
Witches, Pumpkins, and Grinning Ghosts: The Story of the Halloween Symbols by Edna Barth
Good night and good luck.
When you consider that the US life expectancy for a man is 75.15 years according to the 2007 world fact book. In other words, statistically speaking and when you consider the stress of the job, John McCain will be dead before his 3rd State of the Union Address. On that less than happy note, let’s do this:
PROS:
1. Palin is literally a continent away from the Bush Administration. The GOP know that President Bush is a complete failure and that McCain is far too buddy-buddy with him. But no one in Washington (including John McCain) knows who she is. She can come out of the blue and be a clean slate.
2. The GOP can control the story, kinda. The idea seems to be that the 24 hour news cycle of the 1990s hasn’t reached Alaska yet so Palin doesn’t have any press record. Therefore the GOP can mold her into anything they choose. This is turning out to be total rubbish but what are you going to do?
3. Energize the base. This woman is such a hardcore conservative that she borders on fascist. Prolife, pro death penalty (I’ve never understood how those aren’t mutually exclusive), pro gun、pro war, anti immigration, pro church, anti everything Jesus actually said. In other words, the GOP’s wet dream.
4. Power to the PUMA! I don’t know if anyone has noticed, but Sarah Palin has breasts! Now, since all of Hilary Clinton’s supporters are women, Sarah Palin will use her connections in the International Sisterhood of the Va**** to get all of the PUMAs to vote for John McCain despite the fact that she everything she stands for are exactly the opposite of everything that Clinton stands for.
OK, yeah, most of those are stupid and backhanded compliments. But I can’t come up with much that is legitimately good with this choice. As for the cons, there are so many that a true list would constitute a book and there is no way I could scare up a publisher or distribution deal in time so I’ll only list the two most egregious.
CONS:
1. Child abuse. The way this woman uses her family as political fodder is disgusting. First, she uses her son Track (Barack is a weird/evil/foreign name but Track is OK?) as a symbol of how much she “Supports the Troops”©. Then she shows her many children as proof that she shares stereotypical small town values (will SOMEONE explain what the hell “small town values” are?). And worst of all, she shows off pregnant 17 year old daughter and her infant son as proof that she lives her prolife stance.
Let me get this last one straight. Her daughter made a mistake. The mistake in question being that she forgot that there are about 90 different kinds of birth control. Now she has to have the baby with the world watching. Her life is changed irrevocably because her mother is running for vice president. I’m not saying that she should have an abortion, that’s her CHOICE. But of all the reasons to have a child “It helps Mom’s poll numbers” is damn close to the bottom.
It gets worse with the baby. Young Trig Palin has Down Syndrome. His existence is being used by the Fixed Noise as prove that Gov. Palin is truly pro life. In other words, the message is: She didn’t get an abortion even though she knew the baby would come out wrong what a wonderful woman!
2. Book burning. This last one has to speak for itself. During her political career Sarah Palin looked into having a large number of books banned from public and school libraries. Fortunately, the local librarians realized that you simply can’t do that in America and swore to fight any such attempt. Palin then had the librarian fired at the earliest opportunity. This list has been floating around the internet. Please note that this list may not be complete or accurate.
This is the list of books Palin tried to have banned.
A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
Annie on My Mind by Nancy Garden
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
Blubber by Judy Blume
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Canterbury Tales by Chaucer
Carrie by Stephen King
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
Christine by Stephen King
Confessions by Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Cujo by Stephen King
Curses, Hexes, and Spells by Daniel Cohen
Daddy’s Roommate by Michael Willhoite
Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Peck
Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller
Decameron by Boccaccio
East of Eden by John Steinbeck
Fallen Angels by Walter Myers
Fanny Hill (Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure) by John Cleland
Flowers For Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Forever by Judy Blume
Grendel by John Champlin Gardner
Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Prizoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling
Have to Go by Robert Munsch
Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
Impressions edited by Jack Booth
In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
It’s Okay if You Don’t Love Me by Norma Klein
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D.H. Lawrence
Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
Little Red Riding Hood by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Love is One of the Choices by Norma Klein
Lysistrata by Aristophanes
More Scary Stories in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz
My Brother Sam Is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
My House by Nikki Giovanni
My Friend Flicka by Mary O’Hara
Night Chills by Dean Koontz
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
One Day in The Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn
One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Ordinary People by Judith Guest
Our Bodies, Ourselves by Boston Women’s Health Collective
Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy
Revolting Rhymes by Roald Dahl
Scary Stories 3: More Tales to Chill Your Bones by Alvin Schwartz
Scary Stories in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz
Separate Peace by John Knowles
Silas Marner by George Eliot
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
The Bastard by John Jakes
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
The Devil’s Alternative by Frederick Forsyth
The Figure in the Shadows by John Bellairs
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Snyder
The Learning Tree by Gordon Parks
The Living Bible by William C. Bower
The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare
The New Teenage Body Book by Kathy McCoy and Charles Wibbelsman
The Pigman by Paul Zindel
The Seduction of Peter S. by Lawrence Sanders
The Shining by Stephen King
The Witches by Roald Dahl
The Witches of Worm by Zilpha Snyder
Then Again, Maybe I Won’t by Judy Blume
To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare
Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary by the Merriam-Webster Editorial Staff
Witches, Pumpkins, and Grinning Ghosts: The Story of the Halloween Symbols by Edna Barth
Good night and good luck.
Monday, September 1, 2008
A surprising twist in Japanese politics
At least our losers have some sense. Hi everyone, and by everyone I mean the two family members and occasional spam-bot who read this. I’m back from a long overdue holiday in the US. I’ll write up a report of the things I found interesting returning to the US of A at a later time. Today I want to talk about Former PM Fukuda.
That’s right, the Japanese Prime Minister resigned this morning. Claiming that he felt he could no longer deal with the multitude of issues facing Japan at the moment and that it was time for someone new to take the reigns. And there have been some serious issues: Record gas prices, the end of the longest post-war economic expansion ever, a fruitless G8 summit, and a new healthcare plan that shifted a lot of burden away from the government and the tax payers and on to the elderly. Considering that Japan has the greyest and longest lived population in the world, this was not a bright move.
In addition, Fukuda had to deal with the first divided parliament in Japanese history. One house is controlled by each party but Fukuda’s LDP (Liberal Democratic Party aka The Conservatives) still maintains the overall majority.
As of last week, his approval rating was down to 29% despite a recent reshuffling of the cabinet, normally a guaranteed numbers boost. So, after less than a year in office, the 72 year old Fukuda chose to quit before he dragged the nation too far into the dirt. Isn’t that a nice idea?
Although the ruling party is able to call for elections whenever they choose, they are not REQUIRED to hold a general election until September 2009. Knowing that they are at a low point approval wise, the LDP has decided not to hold an election and instead the party leaders will privately select the new PM. This may happen as soon as the end of the week since Parliament is due to open a new session on Sept. 12th.
Naturally the opposition party is up in arms about the private selection concept and is clamoring for elections to be held. The claim is that the LDP is not willing to hear the voice of the people. Now, none of this is going to do a blessed thing, but it’s a nice point to mention.
The likely replacement for Fukuda is Aso Taro. I don’t know much about him accept that he is a former Foreign Minister and known to be significantly more conservative than Fukuda. I don’t envy the guy. With mandatory election a year away, his party can’t afford 3 failed prime ministers in a row.
I know that most people are bored by Japanese politics. So to balance the scales, my next entry will be an analysis of Sen. McCain’s VP choice including *gasp* some positives.
That’s right, the Japanese Prime Minister resigned this morning. Claiming that he felt he could no longer deal with the multitude of issues facing Japan at the moment and that it was time for someone new to take the reigns. And there have been some serious issues: Record gas prices, the end of the longest post-war economic expansion ever, a fruitless G8 summit, and a new healthcare plan that shifted a lot of burden away from the government and the tax payers and on to the elderly. Considering that Japan has the greyest and longest lived population in the world, this was not a bright move.
In addition, Fukuda had to deal with the first divided parliament in Japanese history. One house is controlled by each party but Fukuda’s LDP (Liberal Democratic Party aka The Conservatives) still maintains the overall majority.
As of last week, his approval rating was down to 29% despite a recent reshuffling of the cabinet, normally a guaranteed numbers boost. So, after less than a year in office, the 72 year old Fukuda chose to quit before he dragged the nation too far into the dirt. Isn’t that a nice idea?
Although the ruling party is able to call for elections whenever they choose, they are not REQUIRED to hold a general election until September 2009. Knowing that they are at a low point approval wise, the LDP has decided not to hold an election and instead the party leaders will privately select the new PM. This may happen as soon as the end of the week since Parliament is due to open a new session on Sept. 12th.
Naturally the opposition party is up in arms about the private selection concept and is clamoring for elections to be held. The claim is that the LDP is not willing to hear the voice of the people. Now, none of this is going to do a blessed thing, but it’s a nice point to mention.
The likely replacement for Fukuda is Aso Taro. I don’t know much about him accept that he is a former Foreign Minister and known to be significantly more conservative than Fukuda. I don’t envy the guy. With mandatory election a year away, his party can’t afford 3 failed prime ministers in a row.
I know that most people are bored by Japanese politics. So to balance the scales, my next entry will be an analysis of Sen. McCain’s VP choice including *gasp* some positives.
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