Kaiju TV Pilot

Kaiju Log–BattelDate: 48662.rhubarb

On February 21st, Kaiju Big Battel will film a pilot for a new TV show on G4TV. This could be the biggest break in the history of this little company that started as an art project. Details of the event have been sketchy, until now. The Kaiju Regulatory Commission (KRC) has released the Fighto Card for the big show. Here it is, referenced (stolen) from www.kaiju.com:

Trans-Atlantic Grudge Match
Steam Powered Tentacle Boulder (US) vs French Toast (EU)

Double Danger Tandem Championship
Apes of Wraths vs Sea Amigos

Amazon River Street Fighto
Pedro Plantain vs the Evil Silver Potato

Mocky Tomb of Doom
Dusto Bunny vs Super Wrong

Kaiju Championship Battel
Kung-Fu Chicken Noodle vs Opponent of His Choice

It will be an entertaining night. How do I know this? Because it already happened once. It appears that the time traveling hijinks of the Super Dimensional Slug have completely erased the events of the previous KBB show, Shpadoinkel Mania 18, from the time-space continuum. As a result, this is virtually the exact same card as SP18. The question is whether or not the results will be the same.

This will make life a lot easier for the people at KBB because the deletion of the earlier show means one less chapter of the story that has to be explained. The most important thing to remember when planning a TV pilot is to present a good introduction to the product. The goal of this show is to sell it not only to the network, but to a nationwide audience of fans that don’t know anything about the decade long history of the company. This is particularly difficult when you consider that most of the current storylines have been going on for months, if not years. For example, the Amazon River Street Fighto between Pedro Plantain & Silver Potato goes back over two years. Here’s a brief summary:

Act I: Once upon a time, Silver Potato was the best of the good guys and leader of Team Hero, not to mention a multi-time Kaiju Grand Champion. However, his career was cut short when he was crippled by the evil Dr. Cube. The bad doctor then kidnaped the Idaho Icon from his own retirement party and held him hostage for over 18 months. Meanwhile, Pedro Plantain and his twin brother Pablo were the company’s tip top tag team, constantly foiling the menacing machinations of Dr. Cube’s Posse.

Act II: At “Someone Must Die” (ominous title ain’t it?) we learned that, during his confinement, the uber tuber was subjected to massive brainwashing and was now a card carrying member of the Posse. As his first act as a certified super villain, the traitor tator fatally wounded Pablo with a machete to the back.

Act III: *Erased from history*

All this has to be compressed to a 30 second video clip and the other fightos have back stories at least as complicated. Not to mention, the audience also needs to be introduced to all the various characters involved. That needs to be packed around the actual matches and the whole thing needs to fit into (I believe) one hour of television minus commercials and station breaks. That’s what I call an interesting challenge. It will either be the start of a new era in live monster wrestling, or the first proverbial nail in the proverbial coffin.

There is still a chance that more news will be released between now and the event. So I will wait until the 20th to post my predictions of the potentially paralyzing performances. (In case you haven’t noticed, I admire the amazing attributes of alliteration)

End Log . . .*